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Maiden, Mother, Crone

The cycle of the moon, woman and life.

How do you cope with the emotion of slowly moving onto Crone when you desperately desire to remain as Mother? What if your womanly instinct is screaming at you to reproduce while your evolutionary path is moving you on? How do you believe that all is working as it is planned and for the best when you are begging and pleading with the universe to please honour you with a child?

How do you move on?

How do you do nothing, not seek the assistance you know is readily available?

How do you continue to love and nurture a body that has failed you after 12 years of infertility and miscarriage of precious desperately wanted twins?

How do you learn to release the pain that is burning within you?

How do you accept the fate of your soul to carry this pain for the rest of this life?

When you are usually prophetic, how do you accept that your dreams betray you cycle after cycle?

Some say I am blessed, I have 2 healthy biological children from a previous relationship and an amazing step-daughter. ‘Be thankful’ they say!  ‘Adopt! Foster! IVF!’ Others advise! Some say I am ‘too old’, 41 is after all after a woman’s ‘peak’ fertility window. ‘But the risks’ they say! ‘Wait for grandchildren’ they tell me! ‘The travel’ I’m capable of! The ‘lovely home’ I can have!

For those who have never experienced the pain of infertility, miscarriage or child loss will never understand the emptiness, the longing, the pleading, the begging, the crying, the screaming, the silent praying that THIS time, THIS cycle please be the one. I don’t begrudge the words given with love to us by people who are trying their best to comfort us and want the very best for us. I am happy to carry this burden if it means that my family and friends do not have to. I sacrifice myself in the hope that they never have to know the pain that envelopes me, Every. Single. Month.

I want to nurture a child that is biologically that of myself and my husband. A child who represents the love that we have for one another. I so deeply desire that most precious gift to be bestowed upon us. My gentle, patient, big hearted husband just wants me to be happy. He would literally do whatever I ask of him to make this possible. He drinks whatever concoction I place in front of him and swallows any pill that is thrust on him.

Just as the moon has its cycle, I must learn to accept that I too must pass through these cycles. My beautiful daughter’s while very much still in their maiden cycle will one day soon take the realm of mother. It will be their turn. One day my son will find a lovely woman and with the universe willing she will also enter the cycle of mother.

Then I am sure I will enjoy the role of Crone and Grandmother that is slowly but surely coming for me.

Until that time I will continue to enjoy the realm of mother, silently praying, begging and crying with moon.

Photo credit – Pinterest

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Imbolc

Purification and Fire

August 1-2 Here in the Southern Hemisphere.

Traditionally Imbolc is the time the goddess is cleansed and purified. Milk flows for the lambs and baby God. The quickening of the Earth. Goddess preparing for her return to Maiden. The Earth prepares for the fertility of Spring. Life starts new at this time of cleansing.

Modern day Pagans may choose to honour this sabbat with ritual, creating a Brigit’s or solar cross or corn doilies.

Some other ways you may like to honour include;

  • Light a fire
  • Prepare a feast to share
  • Clearing out the old to allow the new to enter
  • Burn Yule greens to send winter on it’s way
  • Leave buttered bread overnight indoors for the fairies on the eve of the Sabbat
  • Cleanse your Alter
  • Cleanse your home with sage, rosemary and sandalwood
  • Write your troubles and anxieties on scraps of paper and burn away in your Imbolc Fire
  • Light candles of white, yellow, red and light green
  • Image Lunaesque
  • Yule The Winter Solstice

    Yule the darkest night on the Pagan calendar. A time for looking into the future. We welcome the sun back after this darkest night.

    While Yule in the Northern Hemisphere aligns with the Christian holiday Christmas, here in the Southern Hemisphere we celebrate at the end of June. This year Yule falls on June 21. This means that the decorations that are available are not as abundant as our Northern brothers and sisters. Luckily nature provides us with what we need from holly and mistletoe though to pine cones and logs. Decorations can be as simple as a candle in your window, a log fashioned into a candle holder or as elaborate as the traditional Yule tree complete with bells, spheres and stars.

    Activities for Yule

    • Throw a sprig of holly onto your Yule fire to chase away your troubles from the past year
    • Give small handmade gifts to the people you love
    • Share a meal with your family and friends
    • Bake sugar and cinnamon cookies
    • Bring in a tree to keep the wood spirits warm through the coldest nights
    • Watch the sun dawn and set
    • Sing Pagan songs around the Yule fire

    Good Night 2017

    2017, I had high hopes. A one year. A year of new beginnings and fresh starts. I have come to the realisation that there can be no new beginning or fresh start without something first ending and causing a shift. 

    We lost 5 souls from our circle this year. 

    The twins. They were a miracle to even be conceived. They were a blessing that had been prayed for, wished for and were desperately loved. When we started loosing them i prayed and begged for them to stay. I questioned my beliefs. It has taken most of the year to be ‘okay’. I will never be the same. It has changed who I am to my core. 

    The Mates. Leigh’s 2 best mates Kurt & Dan, were tragically lost in a car racing accident. They have left behind young children and loving families. With my already shattered heart I comforted my husband through his grief. The devastation this accident caused is unfathomable. The knowledge of how close I came to loosing my own husband has amplified my anxiety every time he leaves the house. I don’t know if this will ever change. I think this is just who I am now.

    The Grandmother. A beautiful lady who lived a rich and full life. While it is sad to lose another from our fold I am so proud to have known the great woman that she was.  

    Tonight I light 5 candles, one to honour each of their souls. Each is a loss and our hearts ache for all of them. 

    2017 was a year of endings. Of  learning how to move forward, beginning this new life. Many lessons have been learnt. Patience, trust and above all love. 

    I spent so much of 2017 trying to control everything.  How I looked, my emotions, my health. Situations that I had absolutely no control over. So 2018 is going to be a year of breathing. Of releasing and trusting that what will be, will be. I am going to love deeply, breath and let things happen the way that they are going to happen. 

    I welcome 2018 with open arms. 

    Have a blessed year & do things that make your heart happy.
    Aimee x

    Ostara – The Spring Equinox


    Ostara or the Spring Equinox will be celebrated on the 23rd of September in the Southern Hemisphere this year.

    The earth is starting to awaken and is reborn as the fathers mighty rays warm the land.

    I have put together a list of simple, economic rituals for marking the sabbat for those of us not involved with a coven.

    • Revamp your altar. Add plants, flowers, white candles. Add items that celebrate spring!
    • Create a sacred space in your garden or a sunny spot on your verandah. Plant new seedlings, install wind chimes or create an outdoor altar.
    • Honour the mother earth by visiting the beach, a rain forest or an outdoor area that you feel drawn to. Plant your bare feet on the ground and reconnect with her magnificent energy.
    • Perform a ‘Spring Clean’. De-clutter, wipe down all bench tops, walls and doors with a mixture of water, peppermint essential oil and vinegar. Open all doors and windows then perform an energy cleanse using sage or noise such as a bell, clapping or a crystal singing bowl. Walk through each room closing it up as you finish. Start at the rear of your home and work towards the front to sweep any negative energy out the front door. You can perform an incantation as you travel through each room to cleanse and bless.
    • Meditate, use the energy of the equinox to recharge and reconnect.
    • Host a meal for those you are closest to. Incorporate food and drinks of Ostara such as seeds, leafy greens, spring vegetables, eggs and chocolate. If you eat meat you could utilse young meat such as chicken or lamb, just make sure to show gratitude for their sacrifice. Anything fresh young and vibrant is suitable. Eat outside, take advantage of the warmer days and evenings. Listen to the birds and insects.
    • Give an offering of honey or cake to the fae in your garden. 

      Image Credit: Fred Fields

      The sad story of a man & a woman

      Let me tell you a little story about a man and a woman who loved each other dearly. The man and the woman yearned for a child of their own, one for them to share together but the universe did not bless them for 11 long years. Finally the universe decided that they were ready, that they had waited long enough & gifted them not one but two little embryos to treasure and call their own. They would be born on the 21st of November 2017. The man and the woman were shocked after all of this time but very excited that they would soon get to be parents. One day while the woman at work she noticed that there was a little bit of blood. The doctor told her not to worry and that it was perfectly normal, he told her to go and put her feet up and then questioned her religion. That doctor was a silly little old man who will no longer be practising medicine.

      The next day the woman saw a proper doctor who sent her for blood tests and an emergency ultrasound. While getting ready for the ultrasound the woman had a massive cramp and one of the sweet little embryos was delivered right there & then. The ultrasound went ahead and the other sweet little embryo was still tucked away safely in his mummies tummy. For days and days the woman bleed and had multiple blood tests to measure that everything was going okay. The man and the woman laid in bed and prayed and cried and begged for the universe to please protect this little embryo but on the 04/04/17 the doctor called the woman to tell her the bad news that the second little embryo was gone too.

      The man and the woman distraught with pain cried together and made a pact to never give up. Grandparents and close friends were told.

      The woman decided to handle her grief in the only way she knew. Writing, essential oils, bathing. The things that bring her joy will see her through the darkest of days.

      In my burner is my Meditation blend – Orange Sweet, Patchouli, Frankincense, Clary Sage, Ylang Ylang & Thyme. I also have this blended with a carrier oil in a little roll on bottle so that I can apply it through the day whenever I feel like I am drowning.

      In my bath is of course magnesium and my Sweet Love blend – Lavender, Orange Sweet, Patchouli Ylang Ylang, Cedarwood, Jojoba, Jasmine

       

      If you would like to purchase any of my blends, carrier oils or roll on bottles please message me through my facebook page https://www.facebook.com/wildspiritwoman

      Mabon in the Southern Hemisphere

      Mabon

      Depending on which wheel you follow we will be celebrating the Autumn Equinox  ‘Mabon’ in the Southern Hemisphere from the 20th through to the 23rd of March.

      A reprieve to the stifling, long, hot summer days. The time between the end of summer and the beginning of winter. While the days are still warm the evenings will now begin to cool. Day and night over the equinox are the same length. While the storm season is still active in the north the first frosts will soon be felt in the south.

      Mabon is the sabbat of the second harvest. A time between, a balance between light and dark. A shift within nature and ourselves. Time for transformation from mother to crone. Strong and clear psychic vision and dreams are a flow at this time. It is a time of endless possibilities.

      Mabon is a time that we will reap what we sew so be sure to give thanks and gratitude for all that the year has provided and all that it will continue to provide.

      Ideas for honouring Mabon in the Southern Hemisphere;

      • Decorate your home and altar in Autumn colours.
      • Carve apples with pagan markings, hollow out the centre and insert a tea light candle for your table centre piece.
      • Celebrate with family and friends by sharing a feast of Autumn foods such as pies, nuts, bread, roast meats and soup. Fruit and vegetables that are plentiful at this time such as grapes, apples and corn.
      • Drink dark fruity beverages such as tea, red wine, sangria, mulled wine or even a fruit punch.
      • Light candles in Autumn colours such as red, dark green, brown, yellow and orange.

      Even if you are still in the broom closet, it is still possible to give your thanks this Mabon.

      Aimee xx

       

      Image Credit: Deviant Art