Maiden, Mother, Crone

The cycle of the moon, woman and life.

How do you cope with the emotion of slowly moving onto Crone when you desperately desire to remain as Mother? What if your womanly instinct is screaming at you to reproduce while your evolutionary path is moving you on? How do you believe that all is working as it is planned and for the best when you are begging and pleading with the universe to please honour you with a child?

How do you move on?

How do you do nothing, not seek the assistance you know is readily available?

How do you continue to love and nurture a body that has failed you after 12 years of infertility and miscarriage of precious desperately wanted twins?

How do you learn to release the pain that is burning within you?

How do you accept the fate of your soul to carry this pain for the rest of this life?

When you are usually prophetic, how do you accept that your dreams betray you cycle after cycle?

Some say I am blessed, I have 2 healthy biological children from a previous relationship and an amazing step-daughter. ‘Be thankful’ they say!  ‘Adopt! Foster! IVF!’ Others advise! Some say I am ‘too old’, 41 is after all after a woman’s ‘peak’ fertility window. ‘But the risks’ they say! ‘Wait for grandchildren’ they tell me! ‘The travel’ I’m capable of! The ‘lovely home’ I can have!

For those who have never experienced the pain of infertility, miscarriage or child loss will never understand the emptiness, the longing, the pleading, the begging, the crying, the screaming, the silent praying that THIS time, THIS cycle please be the one. I don’t begrudge the words given with love to us by people who are trying their best to comfort us and want the very best for us. I am happy to carry this burden if it means that my family and friends do not have to. I sacrifice myself in the hope that they never have to know the pain that envelopes me, Every. Single. Month.

I want to nurture a child that is biologically that of myself and my husband. A child who represents the love that we have for one another. I so deeply desire that most precious gift to be bestowed upon us. My gentle, patient, big hearted husband just wants me to be happy. He would literally do whatever I ask of him to make this possible. He drinks whatever concoction I place in front of him and swallows any pill that is thrust on him.

Just as the moon has its cycle, I must learn to accept that I too must pass through these cycles. My beautiful daughter’s while very much still in their maiden cycle will one day soon take the realm of mother. It will be their turn. One day my son will find a lovely woman and with the universe willing she will also enter the cycle of mother.

Then I am sure I will enjoy the role of Crone and Grandmother that is slowly but surely coming for me.

Until that time I will continue to enjoy the realm of mother, silently praying, begging and crying with moon.

Photo credit – Pinterest

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Full Moon in Gemini

The full moon will rise in the Southern Hemisphere on the 13th of December at 17.39pm. This will be the final super moon for 2016, so it’s our last chance to take advantage of the additional power this will generate.

This cycle is in the zodiac sign of Gemini. Gemini is a time for new ideas and information. Listen and try to understand what is important. Use this full moon to evaluate what you have learnt this year, be thankful for the blessings that you have received and release what is no longer serving you.

Say goodbye to 2016, a year of lessons and heavy emotions and prepare to welcome 2017, a year of new beginnings and fresh starts.

Perform a cleansing ritual on yourself & your space. Charge your crystals and tools. And bathe in the last powerful moonlight for 2016.

 

 

 

Standing Rock Prayer 

Goddess I call on you to stand with our brothers and sisters protecting the sacred Standing Rock . Please surround them with your protection and allow them to feel the love and strength being sent to them from around the world. May the people with the authority to stop the attack on this site see reason . May the voice of your children be heard. 

Brothers and sisters protecting Standing Rock. Thank you for your ongoing protection of our Mother. Feel her ancient blood running through your veins. Allow our love and energy to give you the courage to keep fighting. We are all still with you. 

Blessed Be x